Silks & Daltin
One last cave. Just one last cave and I can go home. Or at least back to town for a pint and a good meal. I must keep telling myself that to keep my thrice dammed feet moving and the growing ache in my back at bay. This damn armor was a mistake; there had been no monsters, beasts or bandits this side of the river so far but my luck can only carry me so far, now can’t it? Anyways, one last cave to give a brief charting to then back to town. One last cave to trudge through, look around in to hopefully see noting of interest in. One last cave to fill in on my map… Why did I have to become a map maker in this sweltering place? And it feels like rain no bloody less. I think I’m beginning to hate caves… And maps… and this Bloody ARMOR!
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So bored… Nothing to do... Cave is too dark… Something should happen soon… When was last thing happen? Wolfs… Wolfs happen… Do not like wolfs… Too angry and too loud… Was… long time ago was wolfs… Small bugs boring… Small rocks boring… Big rocks boring… Wolfs… Not boring… Too scary to be good… Need good thing soon… Maybe outside?... Danger… But… Boring Danger too… Maybe tidy web up for now… Web is pretty… Can be fun… Food is fun… Sometimes…
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Well, this cave is bigger than I was told. And from the look of things, goes much further too. Of course they wouldn’t know what they were sending me into, I’m just the map maker. No, let’s not worry about poor Daltin with his papers and inks, we need to save our coin for the adventurers who clean up the mess he leaves behind when he gets killed by bandits or eaten by monsters. That’s what they’re there for after all; map makers make maps and adventurers kill things. All a part of the cycle of life… or maybe money. Who knows. I wonder what’s so important in these caves anyway. Just rats and bugs and cobwebs everywhere. Damn glad I brought my lamp though. Hard enough to see with this helmet anyway. It’s not that bad besides that, actually. Kind of like it keeping my noggin safe. Heh, that should go without saying, really. Anyways, just a bit further and that should be enough for the outline. Let some other adventurous fool fill in the dregs of this place. Wouldn’t be so bad here if not for all the bugs and webs. Fair bit cooler too come to think of it. I still hate this armor though.
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Lotsa noise now… Maybe rain?... Hate the rain… Make web soggy… soggy web no good… Can not catch with soggy web… Maybe try new web when rain over… Outside?... Scary… Maybe fun though… … Oh?... Food in web now?... Feel like big thing… Maybe not food… Hope not wolf again… Hate wolf… Loud and danger… Break pretty web… Need to fix… Too many wolf in cave… Maybe need to move again… Hate moving too… Hate wolf more though… Web first… Rain next… Move last… Good things, less boring…
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How did it come to this? Where did this bloody big web come from, and how in the seven hells did I not see it? At least this armor is finally proving useful and I don’t have to worry about pealing it out of my tabard. Hells, it is strong though. Maybe I can cut it if I can… Just reach… My kni- *clink* … “ARGHHH” I knew, I just knew I should never have taken this blasted job! And now I’m stuck here, trapped on an oversized web waiting for gods know what, all because I stupidly thought my purse was a little light. SHIT. OKAY, okay, I just have to stay calm. Maybe I can work my free arm enough to reach my knife before whatever it is that made this web comes back. Then maybe- Wait, what’s that noise?
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What this?... New thing in web?... Not wolf… Maybe big bug?... Shiny bug… Tasty bug?... Stuck in me web… Shiny noisy… Tasty taste now…
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What was that? Did something bump me. Oh gods please, what was that?! YE GODS WHAT IS THAT?! THAT IS THE BIGGEST SPIDER I’VE EVER SEEN! NO NO NO NO NO!!! STAY AWAY! DON’T EAT ME!
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Ow… Me fangs… Shiny bug hard shell… No food… Maybe not bug?... Shiny noisy… Funny dancy… Wavy leg has lotsa little leg… How come?... Why you have leggy leg, shiny?...
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Why is it just looking at me like that?! It’s as big as a hound! I need to get down NOW and- Oh gods its- its-… waving at me? “Please, I’ll do whatever you ask of me, just don’t hurt me! Stay away!“
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Shiny wavy leggy leg at me… No like me?... Shiny scared?... Not food in me web… Shiny show something!...
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*BONG* *BONG* “Yes that’s right. This is fine armor I’m wearing here, see?” Gods what am I doing. There’s no way this thing can understand me. “Ya can’t eat someone like me so, er… you might as well let me go, eh?” Did it understand what I said? Can it understand? Damnation there’s no way this will work. “If you do, I- I’ll… Give you some food! Yeah, I think I got some meat rations left over in my pack. BUT, you have to let me go first!”
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Ohh… Shiny no like in me web… What that?... Shiny leggy leg has thing… Smell some… MEAT! … SHINEY HAVE MEAT GIFT!... Shiny not food… Shiny FRIEND!... Yes, Shiny, you no in me web now… Web for food not Friend… I let go now…
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What’s it… Where’s it going now? Oh no, I’ve lost track, I’ve- *toing* What’s? *tong* I’m coming loose? *ting* I- AH- *CRASH* “Oof… Okay… That hurt a tad.” … Did that truly work? Did it actually understand what I was saying or am I losing my mind? I think I’ve heard of some monsters having a man’s wisdom but I’ve never heard of them being… Kind? This thing seems different somehow… Is it friendly? Why is it wiggling like that?
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FRIEND, FRIEND, FRIEND, FRIEND, BIG NEW SHINEY FRIEND… Sorry bout me web… and fall… But Friend ok, yes?... please no be mad… You not food… I no eat… Is friend hurt?... I can make better…
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O-okay, i-it’s friendly? B-better than being a killer spider then I guess. “Hi t-there. Sorry about your uh, web and all. I didn’t see it there, in the dark. You’re not mad or anything, right? C-could you please stop rubbing my leg like that, it’s getting kind of… odd.”
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Yes, Friend is okay now… I help and have new friend… New Friend no angry or hurt from web… Good, yes… Mebby meat food now?... Wait Friend! Where you going?... I follow Friend, okay?... Okay, I follow Friend…
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So it’s following me now. Wonderful. At least it hasn’t attacked me. Think I’ve had just about enough of this odd cave and this mapping business for a good long while… I wonder why it’s following me. Does it like me for some reason? I haven’t the foggiest idea why. Well, I’d rather that than having it hate me… Guess it could be kind of cute… in the right light, maybe. Oh well, after all’s said and done, it’s time for me to head ba- oh… Of bloody course, it’s raining. Just my bleeding luck, that is. Caves and spiders and webs and now rain to wash it all down… Guess there’s no helping it. *sigh* A little rain won’t hurt much I guess. And besides, it’s only a short ways back to town. Doesn’t look like it’ll be raining all that long neither. If I hurry, I might just be able to be back before-… “Eh? What’s wrong?”
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No Friend, No!... Rain is bad… No go out in rain… Friend get soggy in rain!... Soggy Friend no good…
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“Don’t like the rain, eh? Can’t say I blame you, truly. I really don’t think you should be following me anyway… I mean, it’d be dangerous for you at the town obviously… I’m not exactly someone you ought to follow anyway; moving around all the time, making maps… uh, dealing with actual people… Please don’t look at me like that. I’m just being honest with you. You really don’t want to come with someone like me, Okay?”
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Please Big shiny strong friend… No leave in rain… No leave me… No more boring alone… Friend, what that?... That you web?... It odd web… What you do with web?
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“Don’t make this any harder for me than it has to be… I haven’t even done it, yet I’m already regretting it… Okay, come here then. If you’re so set on following me out into the rain, then I suppose I can’t leave you to get soaked out there, so what I’m going to do is gently cover you in this so you stay nice and dry. Don’t worry about it getting wet either; I use it to keep my paper and pens dry so you know it must work.” Well, it’s actually doing it. I guess it really must understand me. Somewhat at least. Ah, yes, the meat I promised. “Here, I didn’t forget. Just like I promised.”
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Oh, Friend… You meat gift… You meat so nice… and you web so warm an cozy… Do it safe in rain?... Web no get soggy?... … Ok… I trust Friend… Big warm shiny Friend… Cozy web… So cozy… Sleepy… Good Friend…